On the Other Side a the Hill
by Gwendolyn Bennett Pappas

        I died in the fall a 1900.  I member like it was yesterday, maybe cause there ain't much else worth memberin or cause it was just so fine.  Pa had said I wa't really sick an he got so put out with me for making him out a liar he plum forgot to be sad.

        I wa't sad, neither, fact is I was never so glad to get away from a place in my life!  It was like going on a fancy veecation an not havin to git back.  Oncet Pa promised to carry me to Atlantic City but the time never come an after a spell it didn't matter noways.  I'd never went no place till I died an I was plum excited at the goin.

        I'd never had no life a my own noways.  Pa allas bought the calico for my dresses and drawed off my foot size so's he could buy my shoes, not there was ever many of them.  I wouldn't a needed them noways, I never went a place cept Church an that tween youngins and harvests.

        Now I had this nice box all to myself.  I laid right still on the outside but I tell you I was movin bout on the in, I was so proud.  The box an all was so handsome, it had a sort of silky cloth on the lid an the wood smelled a stain a oil.  It was the nicest thing I ever had in all my life... or death I guess you might better say.  It wasn't no grander than me, though, decked in my first store bought dress.  Now see, who would a minded dyin in such style?

        Like I said Pa was so mad at bein proved wrong he couldn't squeeze a tear at the mournin.  I reckon the kids felt bad but they was all so full a themselves an had their heads set on gettin it over an back to their plowin you couldn't tell much.  Sides we was never close much, the kids an me, after they'd growed up a ways, cause Pa never wanted no wet-drawer, snivelin, kissin sissies for youngins.

        Even my girls had pulled from me sayin I was "too weak for hangin" and they was right, a course.  I think Bessie, our youngest, knows now that they is some things you just can't beat.  Pa was one a them and poor Bessie got his twin, I swear!  Even standin by my box she was so busy watchin her Henry she didn't look down at me.  His looks, like Pa's, could allas tell a heap an you could see he was chompin at the bit to get home.  Bessie was nervous for him like I was allas nervous for Pa till now.  That was the nicest thing bout dyin, not bein nervous bout Pa no more.  I sighed to my innards.

        Sometimes when he wa't lookin I'd study Pa an try to see somethin of what I must a seen at the box supper the year I turned sixteen.  He had bid for my box an sort a took over with spreadin it all out under the Hickory tree.  I member thinkin he was real manly with his takin over an all.  That's the only thing bout Pa that never changed.

        I knowed all long I should a been a bed but Pa didn't hold with "givin in" so ole Doc Pete wa't even called when the kids was bein born't an sure not for just a painin.  So's my sickness never had no name but it was there an workin all the same.  Not as it ever bothered me too much.  Ther was no way a beatin Pa but this'n an it kinda tickled me!

        The words a the minister was nice, too.  You wouldn't a knowed it was me he was talkin bout but that's mostly the way.  He told a heap I'd done which wa't nothin really cept through the doins a Pa.  Even the birthins was through him and now my dyin was partly his too.  Ole Doc Pete, when he come to the house after I'se gone, told Pa there'd been no need a my dyin if help had a got to me earlier.  So's I didn't even die without Pa managin it!

        I'se sprised, though, he picked the place under the Hickory tree for my buryin.  I didn't think he's even membered our meetin or the box social an all.  He never once said so.  But Pa wasn't much for sayin anythin.  He could go a week at a time never sayin nothin.  Back at the first I tried gettin him to talk but after a time I got quiet, too.  I allas knew what he's thinkin an I never needed to think on my own so's they wasn't much to say noways.

        Now I could stretch out under the grassy cover an just pleasure bein alone.  I thought bot anythin that come to my head.  An I laid there doin nothin without bein feared Pa'd catch me and give me one a his looks that allas knotted up my innards.  For the first time in years I was real happy.  I watched the Spring green and the Winter white and the Spring green again.  But come the Spring there was somethin else come, too.  It was Pa.

        I might a knowed he'd come.  I just never let me think on it.  I was so peaceful an glad to be here to myself.  I'd had sort a worryin for two days without knowin what was wrong till I see em coming over the hill towards me.  I knowed Pa was in that box without lookin.

        I thought a turnin away an "playin dead" like ole Spot used to do but it wouldn't a worked noways.  Pa'd tricked me like he done a hundert times a fore.  But just as I was bout to turn way I saw the look in the kids' eyes an I hurt for Pa.  They was all so relieved lookin.  Poor Pa!  If'n he kept us from funnin much, he hadn't done no pleasurin neither.  Just mostly hard work an now they was all so glad to get shed a him.

When they was all safe over the hill, I called out, soft-like:

        "Pa... Oh, Pa... I'm here if you need anythin."